KRL developing new soaps and deodorants

Our irradiated correspondent, Alibhae Cranium reports from Kahuta about a new project. The Khan Research Labs are working overtime to produce a line of atomic power cleaning agents and deodorants. The project has been initiated following a request from the bedroom of the presidential palace. As befits a matter of such national need, a chemical engineer…

Only ISI and Mullahs can do burqa drama in Pakistan

 image stolen from BBC The government has stopped Ajoka Theater from any further performances of its musical drama “burqavaganza”. Despite protestations by the head of Ajoka, Madeeha Gauhar, and playwright, Shahid Nadeem that the play does not go against Koranic injunctions, the government dismissed their appeals against the ban. Culture minister Ghazi Kanjar (related to Mullah…

Roomal bachao, Maal banao

The sharia economic system will decrease our reliance on imported cotton, says Lal Masjid economist Mullah Ram Yehuda. He explained that if the whole nation were to start wearing the shorter above ankle shalwars, of the style popularized by Tableeghis and Jamatias, the nation would greatly reduce its cotton imports from Israel. Our textile industry…

Naqal ke liye bhi aqal chahiye

IJT activists at Punjab University Lahore have been protesting loudly over a cheating scandal involving their teachers. Our correspondent Alibhae Nalaik Bhaanda interviewed a couple of IJT members and asked about their agitation. It seems the psuedo students are angry that the scandal is making them look stupid in the eyes of those immoral artsy fartsy…

Sex tape of Jamia Hafsa girls on the internet

Our entertainment correspondent Alibhae Casting Couch has allerted us to the existance of a sex tape, allegedly of some Jamia Hafsa girls getting their lez on. The tape is reportedly doing the rounds of the underground networks of the jihadi servers. We are hereby appealing to any and all to please share the titilation. Akele akele, sahi…

Sexy Go Daddy commercials got them Lal Masjid business

Our IT correspondent Alibhae Www recently interviewed Lal masjids IT staff member hafiz Abdul Dotnetia. Hafiz Dotnetia revealed some important details of the real story behind the recent drama being played out on aabpara road. He wanted to talk about the message behind their message. But Alibhae was more interested in watching booty shaking videos on youtube. That…

Pakistan now open for sex tourism: Lal masjid

This revelation was made at a halwa party on the courtyard of the Lal Masjid. Mullah Ghazi told our correspondent Alibhai Mithoo that the country has a well developed network of 500,000 brothels. And they are the largest employers of women in Pakistan, employing as many as 10 million women. The worlds oldest profession seems…